Is it really about what we are doing? Or how we are being?

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By Grace Andrews

January, it’s a tough time for many.  We have a holiday hangover from too much food, wine and yes, even family.  Time off and vacations are in the past, and if you live in the Northeast – like me- you are blasted by the cold, burdened with coats, boots and gloves.  Then there are those new year’s resolutions, those crazy promises we make to lose weight, go to the gym, learn another language, be better, brighter, conquer something!  So much DOING!

I am a committed “doer.” I love to cross things off my list, fill my days with lots of stuff so I can feel accomplished.  I multitask with the best of them.  I pride myself on how much I can get done.  Recently, however I have begun to ask myself, how am I being. 

There is a new model of leadership afoot that suggests how we are being, is equally, if not more important than what we are doing.  So, what does that look like?  Our being is centered in authenticity, in awareness of how we are showing up for ourselves and others around us.  It allows us the freedom to choose not just what we are doing but HOW we are doing it.  Imagine for a moment that we have a tough conversation to deliver to a colleague, client, employee, and instead of focusing on what we have to say, we focus on how we are going to be in the conversation.  We shift the focus from ourselves and its difficulty to being present and authentic in our interaction.  We release ourselves from being right to being effective.  We change the narrative from let’s get this done to let’s choose how we are going to get this done for the benefit of all, not just to check off the list.

Don’t misunderstand me, the doing is important, but without the balance of being, you are missing the opportunity to choose, to be present, to lead powerfully.  Your load becomes lighter because you aren’t focused on just getting stuff done but on the way you are getting it done. People who understand the power of being draw others to them, not just in work, but in life.  Your children, partners, parents, will all see a difference.

 As we charge into 2018 I urge you to give being a try.  You may find those resolutions aren’t as tough as you think.

Chris Gasbarro